It’s Not The Food’s Fault

I absolutely hate paisley prints and yet that is where my life is headed if I don’t drop some weight.  The designers are cruel when it comes to larger women’s styles and as skinny models fight over an M&M, my clothes keep getting tighter.

January is the month of the Do-Over.   Diet fads are in full swing and gyms are at maximum capacity.  As stated in my previous post if I were to lose 2lbs a month for a total of 24lbs in the year I’d be a happy camper.  Let’s be clear that is my minimum goal.  In reality, I would love to double that.

Give up bread,

Sugar is bad,

Eat low-fat,

Cut out carbs,

Quit gluten,

Eat raw and

Consume no ALCOHOL!  OK, this last one is just craziness!

These are common refrains heard by those of us that need to lose weight.

But hey, it’s not the food’s fault.  No- it’s all mine.  A teaspoon of sugar didn’t get me this way; I simply Eat too much and Do too little.  I enjoy the taste, the smell and the comfort of food.  Ahhh…is that heavenly scent a cinnamon bun?

Simple remedy… Eat less and do more.

Sounds easy, but here’s the problem- I’m lazy.  I don’t like to exercise.  It makes me sweat and it hurts.  It doesn’t help that all of my passions involve sitting down.  It’s hard to write and run at the same time.  Reading a good book requires a comfortable chair with one’s feet curled up beneath them.  Only difference now is -I need a bigger chair.

As I get a little older (never mind how old) I notice that the weight doesn’t fall off, NO- it just falls down…to my ass, where it hangs on for dear life.

So whether I like it or not, I have to get off my chair and get my butt moving.  The Nike commercial rings through my ears ‘Just Do It’.  Cue the Checkmark.

I head over to my weights, blow off the dust and do a short set, but-  there is another reason I have to start moving.  A couple of co-workers have talked me into signing up for 2x a week exercise classes.

And these aren’t just regular co-workers, no they are the dreaded boot camp lovers- what the hell have I done…

Muscular Strength and Endurance, neither of which do I have, is the name of the class.  The main thing I will have to endure is the sideways smirk of all the fit, sculpted people, bouncing around like rabbits; while I attempt to follow their movements with sloth-like precision.  Here’s hoping I can lift my arms up without having them wave 3 minutes after I’ve put them down.

workout

Can I go from this

workout result-1

to this???? haha.

It’s all good- because even if I only lose 24lbs this year- that is still 24lbs that have kissed my ass good-bye and I’ll take that.

It’s that time of year.

It’s Halloween.  Yesterday my husband spent hours raking leaves and clearing away dead foliage preparing for winter.  So far, the weather has been sunny and warm..but it’s coming…. oh yes it is.  Oh Winter- scraping icy windshields, shoveling snow and maneuvering snowdrifted roads. Yep, it’s coming. 

My favorite thing about winter is that we go somewhere warm.  Two glorious weeks spent on a sandy beach, somewhere warm.  Ahhhh, nothing like a cold beer in the hand and the sound of surf.  Did I mention somewhere warm?  You get the picture.  Part of the fun is finding that place in the sun.  Every year we, which really means I, sort through different beach destinations such as Mexico, Cuba, Venezuela and the Dominican Republic.  Since the husband is not an adventurous diner we stay at All-Inclusives that are close to towns and then use the resort as a base to travel around and explore the local areas. 

Last year we went to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic.  They are famous for powder soft, bleached-white beaches and the resort we stayed at did not disappoint.  On one especially hot and humid aftenoon, we took a long walk down the beach and came to a outdoor bar/restaurant called the Tiki.  We decided to stop for a Presidente, their national beer.  We grabbed our beers and sat at a small table to watch the surf wash up on the beach.  It was getting to be late afternoon and besides the bartender, we were the only ones there.  Of course, it wasn’t long before I needed the bano so off I went. 

The bathroom, which was located in a smaller building adjacent to the bar, had two stalls, which were enclosed in a slightly larger room that also had a locking door.  I closed that door, my first mistake.  The second mistake was entering the first tiny, dingy stall-overflowing, blecck!  The third was trying to turn on the taps to wash my hands. Only a trickle, thank god for hand sanitizer.  Then, I reached for the door handle (with two fingers) and watched as the handle just spun around. Crap!  Trapped! 

Suddenly, the bathroom walls seemed to squeeze in on me.  I pounded on the door and yelled at the top of my lungs, but with the loud outdoor music my frantic calls went unanswered. Surely someone would be coming- then I remembered that the only one sitting at the bar was my husband. Sweat beaded on my forehead.  Its true what they say, the senses become more acute in times of stress… at least my sense of smell did!  With the humidity only emphasizing the stale urine and deodorizer, I started to gag.   I looked around and noticed that there was a shuttered window above the sink. It had a tiny latch.  Hmmm…  I reached up and pried the rusty hinge open. The shutters flung to the outside.  Thankfully it was a double shutter, large enough to fit my near 6ft frame.  I hopped up on the sink, (made of sturdy cement) hoisted myself out the window and dropped down into an alley.  I made my way back around to the front of the bar.  My husband looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked me what had took so long!  seriously???  We had a good laugh later.    

So one thing I will add to my travel to-do list for this year is- note possible escape routes prior to bathroom use!!

Hmm… Roatan, Honduras looks good.

Hello world!

Finally, I’m starting a blog and really excited about it too! yeah!!

My Shiny Thoughts have been rolling about in my head long enough and I figured it’s time to share them with the world, [they’re just that good, :-)].

I stay focused when I am not distracted so I will post weekly (barring emergency posts in the middle of the night) once I muck about with the settings and such.

so…